Tuesday, July 6, 2010

SoI Episode 4

Episode 4 - Snaaaaaaaaaaaake!

Steve reached down and picked up all three flowers on the ground. He admired them for a moment and then held them up to his nose. His nostrils expected a sweet smell but were instead treated to an intense, burning sensation.

"Ahhhh!" Steve gasped, dropping the flowers. His eyes grew wide as the flowers began to change. As if possessed the flowers sprung tendrils and joined with one another. Soon they were no longer three flowers but a large one that continued to grow.

Then it began to change into something else. Green stalks became blue scales and eyes and fangs burst through the pistils. A gnashing sound caused Steve to shudder as the teeth ruptured their way through and the snake took shape.

Intelligent yellow eyes opened as the three-foot snake rose up on its body. It shot forth a long forked tongue, causing Steve to flinch. "Sssssselfish human."

Before Steve could react the snake lunged through the air headfirst and sunk its long teeth into his wrist. Steve screamed in pain and tried to fight the beast off, but the beast's grip was intense.

All around him, the peaceful forest glade began to change as well. The animals and trees burst into gulfing flames, producing an acrid smoke. Still, Steve was more concerned about the snake's hold on his arm than his surroundings at the moment.

He finally managed to get a good hold of the snake's head and as he pulled it off his body the snake crumbled into purple dust.

"Ugh..." Steve said weakly as blood dripped out of the two large fang marks. He fell to the floor and covered the wound with his other hand.

It was then that the heat of the fires became more noticable. Burning embers snapped and trees fell as the room became one giant blaze. Steve hopped back up and looked for a way out. A set of fallen branches and underbrush led to a narrow passageway above while a crack in the floor to his right also provided a possible option. He considered running back into the riddler's domain when he saw that the way behind him was now blocked by a growing stack of lumber. Steve:

1. Ran for the hole in the floor
2. Tried to climb the debris and reach the top passageway

SoI Episode 3

Episode 3 - Beware Vermin Carrying Flowers

Steve swallowed hard. He held an answer to the skeleton's riddle on the tip of his tongue but suddenly found himself second-guessing. A wrong answer was death, and Steve had barely cleared the cave opening. Still, an answer was needed and knowing that trying to fight the skeleton was suicide, he gave it his best shot.

"Well," he said weakly, "What if the ages weren't necessarily in years?"

The skeleton's eyes burned a brighter red and he leaned closer. "Be wrong and eat a lancer, be that your final answer?"


Steve nearly soiled himself as the skeleton groaned and pulled out a dirk from his belt. The undead apparition brought the weapon overhead, preparing a killing blow on Steve who could do naught but close his eyes and await death.

To his surprise, laughter came instead.

The skeleton laughed a loud, bellowing roar. "Aww, man...you should've seen the look on your face!" Steve chuckled nervously. "Oh, I suppose I made it too easy for you, I just hate killing, that's all."

"Wait," Steve said. "What happened to the whole pirate, rhyming shtick?"

"My supervisor." The skeleton sighed. "'I hired you to be a scary rhyming pirate, not a lazy bitch,' he says. If it were up to me I'd just kick back and let you through, but if he ever caught me not giving out these stupid riddles, I'd get sent back to Purgatory."

"Is this job really that great? Laying on the floor until someone comes by and then asking them a riddle?"

"The job is terrible, don't get me wrong, but the benefits are fantastic. We even get dental."


"Dental!" The skeleton showed off a set of pearly whites.

"I see."

"Well, peace out, adventurer. Be mindful, be vigilant, and above all else, whatever you do in this place--" Then the skeleton was gone.

Steve shrugged and continued onward. So far he'd battled through a smelly room and a riddling undead pirate, but he knew that far worse perils lay ahead.

A winding set of turns eventually led him to a forest grove. He gasped as he looked at the trees, babbling brook, and small critters that lived impossibly in this setting. How could this woodland exist deep inside the cave, he wondered.

As he pondered his surroundings, a chipmunk, a rabbit and a dove emerged and ran up to him. He noticed that each of them carried a flower in their mouths. The chipmunk held a blue rose, the rabbit a yellow daisy, and the dove kept a red tulip in its beak.

Each animal placed their flowers in front of him. Steve:
1. Took the blue rose
2. Took the yellow daisy
3. Took the red tulip
4. Took all four
5. Took none of them

SoI Episode 2

Episode 2 - Riddle me Timbers

With great courage, Steve covers his mouth and enters the smaller of the two holes. The passageway was roughly four feet in diameter, meaning he needed to get on his hands and knees. He kept his torch in front of him and shuffled into the hole, grunting as he wiggled through.

To his surprise, the ground in front of him fell away sharply, leading to a small chasm in the rock wall. Steve leaned out a bit and aimed the torch out of the other side of the hole, seeing that the drop was roughly eighteen feet onto hard limestone below. Thankful that he chose caution over haste, Steve let out a sigh of relief.

Still, without a rope or pick, there was no safe way to reach the bottom. Cursing himself for being foolish enough to not bring a rope to an epic treasure hunt, Steve realized that he must brave the stench of the cave entrance once more.

After a deep breath, Steve backed his way out of the hole and ran as quickly as he could toward the trail of bones leading downward. As he neared the first of the bones Steve's failure at breath-holding became suddenly relevant. He was forced to take in a short breath, a rancid burst of oxygen that stunned him so badly that afterward he lost his balance and went head over heels down the tunnel.

Aside from some minor bumps and bruises, Steve was alright. Any pain he felt from the fall was eclipsed by his relief from the stench above. Once he got his bearings, he found himself in a small chamber with four candelabras burning brightly. The room was musty and had an eerie sense of silence. Almost like he was being watched...

Steve fell backward as a skeleton with a pirate hat approached him from behind. He realized immediately that the skeleton must have been made from the very bones he'd tumbled over.

"Yar, an intruder from the keep wakens a pirate from the deep....yar."

Red eyes stared at him, freezing him in terror. With a strange undead grace, the pirate paced in front of him. "Yar. Too many souls have I killed, most much more skilled. I'd rather a test than to puncture your chest. Yar."

Knowing his feeble fighting skills were no match for the skeleton, Steve could do little but try and best the skeleton pirate with his wits. He did his best to nod in agreement to the proposal but still found himself afraid.

"Yar...two sisters share a tree, their ages six and three. The little lass aged six was named Daisy Dix, but how was she born secondly?"

Your choices:
1. Answer the riddle(preferably in spoiler form)
2. Steel yourself and attempt to attack the pirate

SoI Episode 1

Steve and the Quest for the Scone of Immortality
Episode 1 - What the f**k is that smell?

Steve swallows hard as he takes his first steps into the Caves of Inevitable Doom. His right hand shakes nervously making the torchlight dance along the greyish-blue stone lining the entrance. Cautiously, Steve paces through the cave's opening and finds himself in a large open room.

From all the broken pillars and debris strewn about, Steve could see the cave was ancient. Perhaps the rumors were true, he thought to himself. Some townspeople claimed that the cave was once inhabited by the Ancient Dragonbears, a mystical and curious race that ruled over Mayduppia in eons past. There were some that even believed they still existed in hiding...

All of those concerns were pushed to the back of Steve's mind as an overwhelming stench filled his nostrils. Since Steve once was a catapult operator, he knew the smell of death and flaming dung well, and this pungent malfeasance was ten times worse than any excrement he'd launched upon unsuspecting heathens. This was an organic, angry stench that tugged at his consciousness.

Steve thought for a moment about retreating then thought of the Scone and what it's flaky center could mean for his family...and the world. He hastily looked for passageways and saw that to his left a trail of bones led downward. Ahead of him were two holes in the rock wall, one smaller than the other. He figured he could fit through both, though the smaller of the two would be a tight squeeze.

With great courage, Steve covers his mouth and:
1. Takes the passage to the left
2. Enters the larger of the two holes
3. Enters the smaller of the two holes